The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize