Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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