i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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