the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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