So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
