I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
