You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize