It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
