It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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