Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
