You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
