thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
