Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
