Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My nipple is on Facebook.
I puked a lego.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
as a side note pls kill me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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