I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
