Jerry, you need to find god
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize