Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
