A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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