Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize