i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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