so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
