I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize