my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
