Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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