Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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