This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
