New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
