I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
