so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
