i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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