oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
