I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
