Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
