i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
