I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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