the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hippo gnu deer
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
