I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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