I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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