I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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