im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
