We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
