: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
