i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
