i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
