So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Success! We fucked roommates!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
