You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize