New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize