Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
