Nicole vs. Life
thus making me awesome and them whores
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
