i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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