I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
