Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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