Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
