Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
True strength comes from lack of pants
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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