I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just google imaged poop.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
