There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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