Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
