he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
