I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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