But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize